A couple weeks ago I went to Billy Bob’s, located in The Stockyards in the heart of Cowtown and self-identified as the world’s largest honky tonk, with a large group of girlfriends to see one of my favorite Texas country bands (Casey Donahew Band, anyone?). The night got off to a slow start – we decided to pregame, go to dinner, and pregame again (because why spend $50 on cheap beer when you can drink Burnett’s vodka like a college freshman for free) which got us to the concert about an hour late, then we stood in line to order our $7 watered down beer from who could probably claim the title of World’s Slowest Bartender. Fast forward, we all finally have our drinks, boys are asking us to dance, and we’re all having a good time (cue Miley Cyrus’ G.N.O.). A decent looking blonde “cowboy” asks me to dance so I oblige and follow said cowboy to the dance floor. While I absolutely love to two-step, I’m no professional so I give my partner a kind warning and he makes some sly joke about how he just learned to dance that night as he expertly spins me around about 100 times at lightning speed (ok I get it, you can dance but I will absolutely throw up on your boots). At the end of our two-minute speed date I expect to go on my merry way back to my room temperature beer or to get a quick, “Can I get your number” from Cowboy. Nope. I’m hit with, “Do you have a MySpace or email I could get? Kidding. Can I get your Snapchat?” Confusion ensues. Is this how we’re doing this nowadays? Snapchat? We’re sending strangers selfies and pictures of our pets, meals, and drunken outings? Was this guy 18 or 40 and trying to keep up with the “kids these days”? The MySpace reference added an extra layer of confusion for me. Was he a mid-twenties to thirties aged guy deploying new age pick-up tactics? Or a teenager trying to blend in with this ‘older gal’ by referencing the old technology he probably saw his older brother spend hours ranking his Top 8 friends on 10 years ago?
After a long “ummm” and very unsure “sure” from me I agreed to give him my Snapchat username, and like a grandma I had to scour my Snapchat app to find that information. But wait, there’s more. Upon requesting to follow me (or whatever you do on Snapchat) he instructs me to, “Wait ‘til tomorrow to accept it.” More questions. What? Does he have a girlfriend he’s trying to fool? Did he ask for my information out of a feeling of obligation after our quick jaunt? Why, again, did he ask for my Snapchat information and not a phone number (which I actually would not have offered up so maybe he’s onto something here)? But don’t worry, my awkward encounter couldn’t stop there. I ask why he wants me to wait to accept him (immediately skeptical) and he says something that doesn’t make a lick of sense about how I may not remember him the next day so I make some joke about how I’ll consider accepting his request in 5-10 business days, and here it comes ladies and gentleman, his response was, “That’s fine because good things are worth waiting for.” While I was flattered and appreciated the attempt, I couldn’t help but laugh, shake his hand (how professional of me), and thank him for the dance as I walked away.
I left my strange dance with several questions. Why on God’s green Earth are guys asking for girls’ Snapchat information? Stop that. For the love of God, stop. Second, pick-up lines. Are they brilliant? So cheesy and horrible? Both? I’m really undecided over here. Every single time one has been directed at me I laugh, judge, and absolutely cannot take it seriously, but on the contrary, I always laugh (see, a pro and a con) and always remember it. Lastly, if that was indicative of what my future dating life looks like please send a lot more watered-down beer and Burnett’s.
*Note: I did not accept his Snapchat request. Even after 5-10 business days.