Four is Not a Party

In this age of dating apps and strange online courtships I figured once I caved and joined the rest of the world online I would at some point be subjected to dates with a few weirdos (or sociopaths. Too many true crime docs). However, who knew my strangest dating encounter to date would not come from an app or even my date himself?!

Rewind to several months ago – I was on a date at my favorite Italian restaurant with a friend of a friend which was great because we had mutual friends and plenty to talk about. We were sitting at the bar before our early dinner chatting, drinking cocktails, and having a nice time when I felt someone walk up behind me and put their arm around my waist. In the 0.5 seconds it took me to turn around I was praying it was friend of mine who happened to be at the same restaurant. Is that what happened? No of course not because this is my life and it is awkward and bumpy and funny. I turned around to find a woman roughly my mom’s age with her arm around both of our waists. I imagine we both had horrified looks on our faces but she didn’t seem to notice or care. “Is this your girlfriend,” she asked my date. He told her it was our second date and she proceeded to say, “You’re a hot couple,” as she got much too close to me. She pointed over to an older man at a table across the restaurant and asked us if we wanted to join them in bed later. Pause. Stop. Hold on. I’m sorry, what? As someone who has always found pride in my abilities to strike up conversation with just about anyone and handle uncomfortable conversations and confrontations I was left red-faced and dumbfounded. My thoughts consisted of some mix of the following – we’re at a family restaurant… at 6:30 p.m.? What year is it? People still swing? Why did she ask us? Am I giving off a swinger’s vibe? Oh God it must be my hair. Should’ve taken the extra time to fix it. What the f**k is going on? But also good for her for having so much courage?

Thankfully, my date told her thanks but no thanks (what manners) and got her to go back to wherever she came from as I slurped down what was left of my cocktail. We were both stunned, red, and laughing and got back to our chatting and drinking (certainly a conversation starter) when a little while later she came back on her way out to offer it up one more time before they left. GUYS – if you ask someone to swing with you and they say no do not ask them again. There must be some sort of swingers etiquette guide out there somewhere, and if not, someone get on that and make this the first rule.

Ultimately, the date was great and it absolutely made for a new experience and a good story. Such a good story that my family and coworkers still love to bring it up from time to time. “Remember the time you were asked to swing?” Um yes and I will never forget it. Still trying to decide if it was a compliment or not.

Let me know your most awkward or embarrassing dating stories below!

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